Being Coached by an AI

Would you really trust an AI to discuss your doubts, ambitions, or struggles? A machine that analyses your responses in a completely cold, detached way, based solely on syntactical rules? Today’s AIs—“LLMs” or Large Language Models—are nothing more than that.

Real coaching is nothing like that. It’s about connection. A human coach notices your silences, senses your hesitations, and adjusts their approach to meet you where you are. They reflect your emotions, your strengths, and sometimes even your contradictions in a way that resonates and inspires you to move forward. This kind of empathy—listening with both heart and mind—is what makes the experience truly unique. It’s not about generic advice; it’s about feedback that hits home.

Coaching isn’t just about what you say—it’s also about everything you don’t say. Silences, gestures, looks… all those subtle signals that speak volumes without words.

AI? No matter how advanced, it’s blind to these subtleties. It doesn’t notice the tension in your voice, the discomfort in your posture, or the fragility in your tone. It only responds to the words you say out loud.

A human coach, on the other hand, notices every detail. They read between the lines, sense what’s left unsaid, and adapt their approach based on what they feel. Because often, what makes the difference isn’t the words—it’s the deeply human act of listening beyond them.

Coaching always starts with establishing a shared comfort zone. Not the kind where you stay cosy and avoid challenges, but the kind where both coach and client feel aligned and secure. This creates a space where anything can be addressed, safely.

And if that’s not possible, it’s better to consider another option. That’s why, once, when faced with a prospective client I didn’t feel aligned with, I made the important decision to recommend another coach. Because effective coaching relies on an authentic relationship. If either party isn’t fully comfortable, it’s better to step back.

In coaching, paradoxes are part of the process. Wanting to be an inspiring leader while fearing a loss of control. Striving for work-life balance while feeling guilty about giving too much—or too little—to one or the other. Wanting more responsibility while doubting your ability to handle it. These contradictions aren’t dead ends—they’re often opportunities to grow, provided you know how to explore them.

Where AI might try to “resolve” these paradoxes by making you choose an option—“Be more direct” or “Be more attentive”—a human coach creates space for these opposites to coexist. For example, being firm AND kind. Coaching isn’t about eliminating contradictions; it’s about understanding and integrating them.

Navigating paradoxes means learning to embrace them, turning them into strengths rather than obstacles. That’s the art of human coaching.

A great coach is a guide. They walk alongside you but are always just one step ahead. Not to impose direction, but to illuminate the path, anticipate obstacles, and open perspectives you may not have considered.

Imagine a young executive considering a promotion. On paper, it’s perfect: more responsibilities, better pay, and flexible hours. Yet, she hesitates. An AI would analyse the facts and confirm whether the promotion is a “good decision” or not. A human coach, however, would notice the hesitation and feel the doubts. “What’s really holding you back?” “What comes to mind when you think about this promotion?” “If you felt totally free, what would your first thought be?”

It’s not just a decision to make; it’s an exploration to understand what truly matters in this choice. Perhaps she aspires to a role more aligned with her values, fears sacrificing her work-life balance, or maybe she’s simply content where she is. And perhaps the issue lies elsewhere.

So, being coached by an AI… why not. But if what you’re looking for is true transformation—an experience that pushes you to grow while respecting your nuances and values—there’s no contest: only a human coach can provide that.

AI, today’s “LLMs”, based on statistical calculations, can analyse, compile data, and deliver responses extremely quickly, sometimes even feigning a hint of compassion. But ultimately, it’s a cold process, lacking any real understanding of human paradoxes or our shared complexity. A human coach listens to your silences, senses your emotions, and helps you embody change.

It’s a companion on your journey, a guide always by your side, in sync with your steps, ready to ask the right questions, on the right topics, at the right time, to help you move forward.